i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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