I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
