You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
