Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
