Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
