where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
