last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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