Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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