I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
