dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize