I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
