Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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