I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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