My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
