What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
