i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
