Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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