There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
