Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
