My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
