I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
