Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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