Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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