So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
