You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
