too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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