Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
