I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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