Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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