If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize