On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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