mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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