i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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