Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
