I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
People in love make me want to vomit
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The police scanner is talking about you again....
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
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