already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
