Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
