I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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