Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
