I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
