Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
