I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
you never un-have a 4some
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
