Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
She announced her abortion via fbk
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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