Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
