I like to think it a success when the cops are called
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
