well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She even gives head with a lisp.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
