so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just gargled with NyQuil
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize