I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
