Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
