im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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