There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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