The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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