did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
