There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
