y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
