I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
