It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
