Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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