But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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