I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
