Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i was born a porn star she said
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
