So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
There r osticjed everywhere
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
pray to the hookup gods
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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