Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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