It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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