Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
