There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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