So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
