I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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