I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
