What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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