She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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