It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
