this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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